31 Jan 2007: Wrapped around her little finger

Our daily lives now rotate completely around AiLi’s schedule: four adults all dancing attendance on her every whim. Though it’s only been 48 hours since she joined the family, AiLi already has a pretty good idea of what power she wields.

The photos we posted yesterday are a compilation from Monday and Tuesday—AiLi and her nanny as she arrived at the Civil Affairs Office; AiLi in the special outfit made by Auntie Susan; Ira and Karen swearing to the notary public that they will love and care for AiLi forever; Karen interviewing, with the help of our guide Rose, the director of the orphanage; AiLi in her Michelin Man snowsuit walking with Auntie Susan and Great Cousin Marilyn (or is it First Cousin Once Removed?); AiLi eating prunes (the less said about that, the better); AiLi being footprinted as part of the official process.

Yesterday’s trip to the Civil Affairs Office completed the Chinese requirements. The notary gave each family their “Red Book” confirming the adoption is complete and legal. She made a lovely speech about China’s gratitude for the parents’ love and kindness, and stated all the families were now related to the Chinese people, welcome to return at any time.

We all took a stroll yesterday afternoon down a nearby pedestrian promenade, attracting much attention as we went. We were, first of all, among the very few Caucasians in eveidence around this city and, more important, had a Chinese baby in the carriage. Most people we passed were smiling; a number made a special effort to come over and have a look. It’s an interesting (and instructive) experience to be so visibly in the minority.

AiLi has been sleeping well and after a relaxing bath in the big tub and a second restful night (Tuesday/Wednesday), we took her up to the dining room for breakfast in "polite company". Many of the other children were also present. AiLi was very well behaved and eager to eat her steamed egg and yogurt. We then bundled up for a group outing to the Bao Temple, a memorial to one of China’s most revered judges (10th century) and one of Hefei’s major historical sites. While there, we followed tradition, lighting three sticks of incense and making three wishes for AiLi: happiness, long life, and loving relationships and good health. (Okay, four wishes. Ira couldn’t limit himself.)

Tomorrow some of us plan a trip to Huai’nan, the town where AiLi and several of the other orphans were found. Our guide Rose had to get permission to visit this area, about a two-hour drive to the west. We will not be allowed even to drive by the orphanage there, but at least we'll get to see what we believe to be AiLi’s birthplace.

We love your comments on this blog; please keep those cards and letters coming!
(Incidentally, if you click on the photos, they will appear larger than life.)

Auntie Susan

Photos Only

29 Jan 2007: AiLi is “born”!

The long awaited day has arrived and AiLi, as of 10 a.m. this morning, has been in Ira and Karen’s arms! Joanna Weinstock, the doctor accompanying our group, has examined their lovely daughter, my sweet niece, and has proclaimed her perfectly healthy.

We arrived in Hefei (pronounced her-fay), capital city of Anhui province, about 600 miles south of Beijing, yesterday afternoon. Hefei is one of China’s “smaller” cities with a mere 4.46 million inhabitants. From the little we’ve seen, it seems to be in a state between demolition and development, without Beijing’s urgent rebuilding deadline of the 2008 Olympic games. Many construction sites stand idle in what appears to be a primarily industrial city. But we understand that Hefei is ringed with parks and look forward to some family outings over the few days.

This morning we went to the Civil Affairs Office, a short 10-minute drive from the hotel, where the anxious expectant parents were to be united with their daughters. The office was just short of pandemonium, with a group of families from Quebec and a group from Australia crowded with us into the small Adoption Registration Room to receive their babies. Not long after we arrived, the various orphanages’ staff began to bring the babies to their families. Huai Qing Liang (AiLi’s Chinese name, loosely interpreted with the help of our guide as “ample celebration”) was among the first to be “delivered” to our group.

Ah, the miracle of birth, even at 18+ months! There are no words to describe completely what took place: the boundless joy of the parents and family members, the sadness of the nannies who have cared for these babies, the fearful sobbing and wailing of the children who are as yet unaware of the wonderful lives they are now beginning. As the saying goes, there wasn’t a dry eye in the house.

AiLi cried quietly, then dozed, while we spent an hour or so at the office. There was a small amount of paperwork, an opportunity to ask questions of the orphanage director (What was her nickname? Can she climb? What does she like to eat?), admire each others’ daughters, and present gifts to the officials. There were enough cameras and video-recorders to support a major news conference.

AiLi has taken a real shine to her “baba” Ira. (Dogs and babies, he has a way with them both.) Could it be due to his fatherly declaration that she was the most beautiful baby among all those adopted today?

Now it is afternoon, back at the hotel. AiLi has had her first bottle. After some sporadic crying, she’s shown us she can walk, and smile and play. It’s four hours into her new life and she seems truly content. She’s lying in her crib and we’re watching her fall, somewhat reluctantly, asleep. After all, there’s so much to learn and do and see. A tremendous adventure awaits.


Auntie Susan

Can’t sleep 5:00 AM Saturday, January 27th

It’s 5:00 AM Saturday morning, I can’t get back to sleep so armed with room service coffee, here are some early impressions of China.

The people are warm, welcoming and ever anxious to please. They are proud of their country and their culture. We were walking through Tiantan Park towards the Temple of Heaven yesterday and there were crowds of people everywhere engaged in all manner of group exercise and socializing. And it was 20 degrees F! From practicing tai chi to ribbon and sword dancing to chess games to people leading groups in singing chinese folk songs to a man writing Mao poems in water which turned to ice on the concrete pavement…everyone was involved in some manner of creative expression. I thought this somewhat paradoxical given China’s history of oppression and repression. Many people invited us to join in and Ira and I were challenged into playing a form of badminton with a few senior citizens. We feel safe and at home. Even the street vendors selling cheap souveniers are extremely polite and respectful about it.

The second impression is how Westernized Beijing is, far more than we anticipated. I’m not so sure it is a good thing but it is interesting to see The Starbuck’s, McDonald’s and 7-11’s here and there throughout the city. With the Olympics coming next year this Westernization will only intensify. I’m glad we had this opportunity to visit before the global onslaught.

So far our experiences have only reinforced how lucky we are to have been given the opportunity to adopt from China. We look forward to giving AiLi all the freedoms and opportunities we were afforded growing up in the US and at the same time we hope she will embrace those aspects of her Asian culture which will make her feel special and proud.

Karen

We Arrive in Beijing – 25 January 2007

Despite the dreary winter colors and “smoky” weather (a recognized meteorological term here), Beijing was like a beacon of light to us. Armed with lots of advice (all helpful) from friends about how to fight jet lag and blessed with an affordable last-minute upgrade to Business Class that Ira found when confirming our flights, our travel was smooth and on time. (In the Chinese tradition, I attribute this to the watchful and benevolent spirit of our mother, the late Janice Montague, who herself travelled to Korea and Colombia to assist in international adoptions in the 1970s and ‘80s.)

We are a group of four: the parents-to-be, Ira and Karen Montague; “Auntie” Susan Montague, Ira’s sister and the narrator of this posting; and Marilyn Montague Harper, Ira and Susan’s one and only first cousin—ever cheerful, energetic and always unflappable.

We were met at the airport by our national guide, Rose (Chinese name, Yue Xia). Originally from Inner Mongolia, Rose attended university in Beijing, majoring in history and English. She is articulate and very capable—already we love her.

There is little point in describing Beijing. The guidebooks can do it much better and by the time AiLi is old enough to read and understand this, it will have changed even more than it already has in the past decade. We will spend two days sightseeing in the city, one day on our own and with the rest of our CAWLI group who
arrive tomorrow. We will visit all the major attractions: the Great Wall, Fobidden City, Tiananmen Square and more. But our sights will be set on Sunday’s trip to Hefei, the capital of Anhui province, where we will at long last be united with AiLi and she with us.

Susan

CCAA Approved V

Get Ready IV

Good Morning,

We received confirmation from the US Consulate in Guangzhou of your visa appointments. Your appointments are scheduled for February 5, so that means you are leaving on January 25, and returning on February 7. Anyone planning on booking their own travel can go ahead and do that now. We need to have ALL final changes with travel TODAY by 4:00-no later! We have tickets on hold that are a very good price that need to be booked by tonight.
The travel meeting is scheduled for Wednesday, January 17, from 1-3 pm. People who live out of state will be express mailed their travel package on that day. Please call to set up your travel meeting by phone anytime after you receive the package. Someone will need to sign for it so please let us know where it should be delivered. If you have any questions or concerns please let us know!

Get packing!
Melanie

Red Thread I

Two years in the making, our adoption journey is nearing it's close. Our little girl, currently named Huai Qing Liang, is living in an orphanage in Huainan which is in the province of Anhui. She is 17 months old (born June 14th, 2005) which puts her a month behind Evelyn and four months older than Nora, Karen's family. To the best of our knowledge based on the scanty medical information we were provided, she is healthy. We've got some work to do on the happy part though judging from her facial expression in the attached photos. At 14 months she was 29" long, weighed 18 lb. and had 6 teeth!

She will be 19 months old when we travel to China in January to bring her home. Right now we are estimating traveling around the 15th. There are 8 families in our group and the plan is to fly into Beijing for a few days of getting acclimated, shopping and sightseeing, then we split up and fly to the various provinces where our respective babies will be brought to us. They rarely allow the families to visit the orphanages but we are going to try. After a few days of getting used to being a family together we fly to Guangzhou where we go through the reams of paperwork required by both countries to allow us to leave the country and to get her US passport. From Guangzhou we travel back to the US, a 19 hour flight with a toddler, wish us luck! All in all about two weeks so we will be home by the end of January. Ira's sister Susan and cousin Marilyn Harper will be traveling with us. Susan has been learning Chinese which will be a HUGE help.

Her new name will be AiLi Piper Montague. Ai (pronounced eye) and Li (pronounced lee) are Chinese words which loosely translated mean loving and beautiful. Piper was Ira's mothers maiden name. The connection was important to us as she worked for over thirty years as a social worker counseling unwed mothers and assisting with adoptions.

We are so blessed to be given this opportunity to be parents to a child so in need of love and blessed to have the circle of family and friends that we have. Thank you for your love and support.

Ira & Karen


"An invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet, regardless of time, place, or circumstance. The thread may stretch or tangle, but never break." Ancient Chinese Belief

Who is she? II

Love those shoes III

This is orientation information we received from our agency-China Adoption With Love.

CAWLI TRAVEL OVERVIEW
Personal Responsibilities/Code of Conduct

When traveling in China please remember that you represent all families who have made the journey before you. Also remember that inappropriate behavior could negatively impact families in waiting.

Group Conduct
The journey to China is a personal one. However, you will be traveling with a group and will be finalizing your adoption and paperwork as a group. Be prepared to act on group consensus.

Key Points
Although you are focused on your new family, you must demonstrate appropriate group behavior. For example, be on time for your transportation, meals, and hotel check out. There are many appointments that all group members must attend and being prompt is essential.

Be knowledgeable and organize your documents. You have the ultimate responsibility for your documents. Know what they are and which ones are for the Chinese Officials and which ones are for the U.S. Officials.

Guides
Your guides have been selected for their knowledge of the local area and their sensitivity toward adoptive families. Trust your guides, respect their opinions and decisions.

Key Points
Your guide will facilitate the Chinese Government document process. However, you are responsible for the accuracy of the documents. The sooner you check for potential problems the sooner they can be corrected.

Be Prepared
Prepare yourself prior to travel by attending waiting family meetings, talking to parents who have returned, etc. They have the personal experience.

Key Points
Learn what you need to know before you get your child. Times of stress are not a good time to be absorbing new information. It is a time to draw on what you already know.

Political/Culture/Government Systems
We are in China to get our children not to tell the Chinese how to govern themselves or how much better a job of governing we do in the United States.

Key Points
Be responsible to prepare yourself for the cultural differences.
Commit not to pass judgment.

Absorb what you hear, see, smell and feel. Do not respond to it, let it sink in, enjoy it and learn.
So you can share your time in China with your child.

Your adoption trip will be one of the most important and memorable trips you will ever make! As you embark upon this last significant stage of the adoption process, with its overwhelming emotions and stresses, we ask that you always remember that the principal purpose of the trip is to bring your child home. The purpose of this flyer is to provide information about the process, procedures, and guidelines that the CAWLI staff adheres to during the travel arrangement process.

INITIAL TRAVEL PLANNING STEPS

Referral Day Information. At the long awaited referral meeting, you will receive photos of your child, a medical report, a development report, and the very important Acceptance Letter for you to sign. You will be asked to sign the Acceptance Letter for your child at the referral meeting. CAWLI will need to receive ALL of the referral group’s signed Acceptance Letters in order to send them together back to China. When the China Center for Adoptive Affairs (CCAA) receives the signed Acceptance Letters, the process begins to establish the travel date for the referral group.

There are two additional time-sensitive papers you will receive by email in the Travel Package CAWLI emails about four weeks before your referral is expected: – explanation of the Chinese visa application process, with a sample and a blank application included, and a Flight and Name Request Form. Both forms should be filled out as soon as possible after referral. Each person traveling to China will need a Chinese visa; obtaining one may take one-two weeks.

Brief Overview of The Trip. The “typical” CAWLI adoption trip will include visits to Beijing, the orphanage city or provincial capital city, and Guangzhou. CAWLI attempts to schedule a Thursday departure to China, typically connecting to direct flights from Detroit, Chicago, San Francisco, or Minneapolis to Beijing direct-we typically go directly to Beijing. You will arrive in Beijing on a Friday evening. All day Saturday and Sunday morning are spent visiting such cultural sights as the Great Wall, Tiananmen Square, the Forbidden Palace and a jade or pearl factory, and enjoying an evening of Chinese Acrobats or the Beijing Opera.

After lunch on Sunday, families typically fly to the provinces where their soon to-be-adopted children are located. The adoptive families will be united with their children either Sunday night or Monday morning at either the hotel where they are staying or at another location designated by the local Chinese officials. You will be given specific details at your travel meeting, if not before.

The focus during the next five days is to meet with the local/provincial registrar, notary and Chinese passport officials to process the Chinese adoption papers and to meet with the ”CAWLI” physician traveling with the group. CAWLI’s local and national guides are experienced, and they will walk you through the Chinese paperwork process and will handle any problems that may arise. All the paperwork may be processed in one or more locations in the adoption city or the provincial capital. As time allows, several local cultural events may be arranged and sights visited. If the orphanage director grants permission and the distance to travel is short, a visit to your child’s orphanage or foster home may be possible.

On Friday night or Saturday morning, the families will travel from the provincial city to Guangzhou, and will most likely stay at the White Swan Hotel. On Saturday or Sunday, the child will visit the nearby Chinese health clinic for the U.S. visa health check-up and then the child will sit for the U.S. visa photo. At some point, the CAWLI guides will walk the families through the process of filling in the paperwork for the U.S. visa (these documents are located in that big brown envelope you have had in your possession since shortly after DTC!).

The families are then free to do whatever they wish until Monday when they visit the U.S. Consulate as a group for the U.S. visa process. Each family is then free until they gather as a group on Tuesday afternoon to receive their child’s U.S. visa. Those families traveling internationally through CAWLI will then fly to Hong Kong for a brief stop over before you fly back to the US. While this is a typical travel scenario, your actual trip itinerary may vary depending on circumstances.

Four and five star hotels in China. CAWLI believes that it is important for families to stay in good hotels during the adoption process. The trip includes many stresses, such as time zone changes, fatigue, different food, a new language, possible illness of a parent or child, or a child having a difficult transition to his or her new family. CAWLI has found that hotels rated less than four or five stars may not provide standards acceptable to its families. CAWLI can provide excellent value for its families at the four and five star hotels, as a result of its long-standing relationships with these hotels and/or the benefit of group rates.

Beijing travel. CAWLI encourages prospective adoptive families to spend a few days in Beijing. This provides families with a first-hand appreciation of Chinese history and culture (e.g., the Great Wall, the Forbidden City, etc.) and allows families to adjust to the different time zone prior to receiving their children. Note that families may request that this part of the trip be excluded from their itinerary.

While in China, please remember that families should be sensitive to the cultural and other differences that exist between China and the United States. Families must not give the Chinese adoption officials any reason to doubt that they will parent their Chinese children with the utmost love and respect. At the interview with the provincial Notary Official, each family will likely be asked the following question – “Why do you wish to adopt a child from China?” Please prepare your answer in advance, as the Notary Official will view it quite seriously. Unacceptable responses include: “I do not know” and “Because you do not want them”.

What is the role of the “CAWLI” physician on the adoption trip? Does he/she stay with the adoptive families throughout the entire trip, including accompanying the adoptive families to the health clinic in Guangzhou?

First of all, CAWLI will endeavor to obtain the services of a pediatrician for each adoptive family travel group. However, if and when necessary, CAWLI reserves the right to utilize the services of a recommended pediatric resident or a family physician. Second, while the physician may choose to accompany the families beginning in Beijing through to departure from Guangzhou, he/she is only required to be with the families in the local provinces where the adopted children are received. In instances where the referral group is large and more than one province is represented, CAWLI will arrange the services of a physician for each provincial travel group. If only one physician is available in such an instance, CAWLI will stagger the U.S. departure date for each provincial travel group (or individual family if traveling to another province) such that the one physician will be available for each provincial travel group during its respective 5+ day provincial stay.

As the “CAWLI” physician is not licensed to practice medicine in China, his/her role will be limited to performing a basic exam of each child (e.g. no blood work will be done) and dispensing medication when necessary. The physician will bring with him/her to China a limited supply of the most often needed pediatric medication. However, each family should bring their own supply of recommended medications (speak with the adopted child’s pediatrician or review the Families With Children From China website: www.fwcc.org). Appointments to meet with the physician will be made beginning as soon as reasonably possible after the children are delivered (i.e. if the children are delivered late at night, the exams will begin the next morning). Depending on the number of adopted children to be examined and their arrival time, physician appointments may need to be scheduled over one or two days. During this period in the local province, the “CAWLI” physician will be in communication with Lillian Zhang to report any issues or concerns he/she or any family may have with respect to a particular child. If any child demonstrates a more critical need for medical or other attention, the “CAWLI” physician and Lillian, together with the family, will determine a course of action. During the families’ stay in the province, the physician will be available to answer questions or to provide additional medical attention to the adopted child or, if necessary, to any other family members/friends participating in the adoption trip.

As mentioned, the “CAWLI” physician may choose not to accompany the families to Guangzhou. It is the national and local guides’ combined responsibility to coordinate and oversee the adopted child’s visit to the local health clinic for the required U.S. visa health exam. If any medical concerns arise during the Guangzhou part of the adoption trip, the guides can help facilitate another visit to the local health clinic or the family can visit the well-respected health clinic located within the White Swan Hotel. Of course, if the “CAWLI” physician should choose to remain in Guangzhou with the families, he/she can be consulted as well.